


Saturn

by MaggicSorceress



Category: Howl's Moving Castle - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Humanized Calcifer??, I Tried, I wrote this on a whim, Sort Of, chatting under the stars, idk why I can never make a HMC fic, just two friends, smh, subtle feels but nothing too crazy, that's longer than 1000 words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:07:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24545893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaggicSorceress/pseuds/MaggicSorceress
Summary: In which Calcifer has a moment of remembrance under the stars.
Relationships: Calcifer & Howl Pendragon, Calcifer & Sophie Hatter
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	Saturn

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this while listening to Saturn by Sleeping At Last on repeat so that's what this is gonna be titled! XD  
> Also, if the Witch of the Waste's fire demon can have a human form in the book, I don't see why Calcifer can't have his own so  
> I gave him one XD

The night air was crisp and cool, blowing in sparse bursts as it drifted in from the sea. The only sound, other than the rustling of the branches above him as the wind blew through them, was the gentle crashing of the waves on the shoreline down the hill from where he sat. The stars and moon shone back at him, shimmering and twinkling in a dance that seemed so familiar, yet he knew he didn’t remember enough to join in.

_Dance with us_ they sang.

**_I can’t_** he flickered back.

In the distance, the sky seemed to cry at his response, streaks of pink and blue raining down in bursts of light until they crashed into the ocean and went cold and dark. He shuddered, the wind suddenly colder against his face as it battered through his flaming hair, as if the very wind was beckoning him to join his brethren in the inky depths of the ocean. Dark and lifeless like stone. He closed his eyes, drawing his knees close to his chest and holding them tightly, as if the gesture would ground him, and let a memory surface.

_Wind, frigid and turbulent, pushed back at him as he raced towards the ground, perpetual state of weightlessness having been ripped from him only moments ago. He dared not look at the fate looming towards him, entirely enveloped in what was **emotion**. It had to be fear, it could be nothing else. It suffocated him, pressed down on him like the roaring wind, and threatened to snuff him out._

_Then it all stopped, and when he dared look, dared to open his eyes and face his fate head on, he was met with a boyish looking face framed with hair as dark as the night sky and eyes as blue as the ocean._

_And he wasn’t afraid anymore._

Calcifer opened his eyes to the rustling of grass and turned his head to meet Sophie’s gaze as she settled herself onto the ground next to him. She smiled at him, gentle and warm, before she too looked skyward.

“I thought I might find you here.” She said softly, as if she was afraid to break the tranquillity of the atmosphere. Calcifer shrugged.

“It’s quiet.” He mumbled.

“And beautiful.” She added.

Calcifer nodded, a bit hesitantly. “I could…I could never understand why you humans wasted so much time just… _staring_ up at the stars as if they’d reveal the secrets of the universe to you. But, I think I understand now.”

“It’s as frightening as it is breathtaking.” Sophie said, leaning back on her hands. “The sky is so vast that you can’t help but feel small and insignificant in comparison to everything else that lies beyond what we can see.”

“That’s awfully pessimistic of you.” Calcifer teased.

Sophie laughed. “But it’s true. It’s…reassuring in a way. I like to stargaze whenever I have to make a difficult decision or something is going wrong in my life, because it reminds me of just how little the decision matters in the grand scheme of things and that, so long as I’m living the life I want to live, the outcome won’t matter.”

Calcifer stared at her, silent and momentarily stunned, before she spoke again.

“I talked to them sometimes too.” Sophie admitted. “If only to help sort out my own feelings. There were times I thought they could hear me.”

“Did you ever get a response?” Calcifer asked, as joking as he was serious.

“No, not back then.” Sophie said, turning her gaze back to him. “But I’m getting one now.”

Calcifer scoffed. “I’m not a star anymore, Sophie.” His focus was drawn back to the ocean when the colourful shower began yet again. Sophie followed his stare, eyes going soft.

“…do you ever miss it?” Sophie said. “If you could go back up there, would you?”

Calcifer thought, eyebrows furrowing as he stared contemplatively up at the night sky.

_Dance with us_ the stars sang.

**_I can’t…_** he replied.

“I’m…not sure.” He told Sophie. “There wasn’t much to life up there. It was simple but, when I think about it, it seems exceedingly dull. To just…exist so that you can die, so that people you will never know can marvel over your beauty and carve patterns and maps from you. It makes it seem so pointless an existence.” He spared a glance at her and continued. “I never really knew what I was missing until I came down here. I didn’t know that the life I was living wasn’t the one I wanted to live until I realised that I could make that choice for myself, that I didn’t have to live just to die, that I could find a purpose that I didn’t previously have.”

The stars in the distance stopped falling.

“So, no.” Calcifer concluded, feeling a familiar weight rise from his shoulders. “I wouldn’t go back to that, even if I could.”

Sophie smiled, nudging his arm with her elbow. “I’m glad. We’d miss you too much.”

He returned her smile with a crooked one of his own and they settled back into companionable silence, content to let the sounds of the wind and ocean fall over them as they took in the view of the stars.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys liked it! Comments and kudos are always lovely to see! <3  
> -Maggic


End file.
